Think your breasts are sagging? Find out with our Saggy Titty Test.

Here at PSBAD, we keep things lo-tech. Like the time I warmed up my lunch on the dashboard of my hot car because the break room microwave was broken. It was over a hundred degrees that day. My lunch was nice and toasty.  

In that same vein, we’d like to teach you lo-tech, yet efficient way to test if you need a breast lift. No scientific instruments needed. You can do the test at home, and alls you need is a pencil. We respectfully refer to this test as the Saggy Titty Test. 

This is how you do it: 

Step One 

Grab your pencil (wooden or mechanical is fine), and put it under the fold of your titty or breast.  

Step Two 

Let go of said pencil, and make notsoscientific observation 

Did the pencil fall to the ground, or did it stay in place? If the pencil stayed put then our unscientific test tells us you have some degree of sagginess 

We’ll now determine the severity of sagginess by using a scale we refer to as the “Saggy-booby-nipple scale”.  

Step One 

With the pencil still placed in the fold of the breast, stand in front of a reflective surface, such as a mirror (standing over a body of water, like a pond, will not work because gravity will apply downward pull on your titties, or breasts and dislodge the pencil) 

Step Two

While standing in front of the reflective surface, make the following observation. Is the pencil below the nipple, even with the nipple, or above it? If the pencil is below the nipple then you have a mild case of Saggy-booby-nippleIf the pencil is in line with the nipple, then you have a moderate case of Saggy-booby-nipple. If the pencil is above the nipple, you have a severe case of (say it with me), SAGGY-BOOBY-NIPPLE 

And thats it. Did you try the test? How did it go? Let us know the results in the comments below.  

With the help of the Saggy Titty Test and the Saggy-Booby-Nipple scale, you’ll be able to determine whether or not your breasts or titties could benefit from a lift 

We know the test is pretty lo-tech, but if you’re not satisfied with the outcome, there are many high-tech cosmetic surgeons in your area that can help.  

Fill out the contact form below and we’ll help you to turn those lo-tech titties into hi-tech beauties (see how I did that? Low tech, low titties. Hi-tech, high titties. Yep, that’s why they pay me the big bucks.)  

Michelle Workman

Michelle Workman

Michelle used to be a rocket scientist, but she got so bored with the all the sciency stuff. So now she writes about far more interesting topics, like cosmetic surgery.

To start you life with the new you, fill out the form.